#67. The Long, Hot Summer (1958)

 

 

I struggle with these Dixieland adaptations. No matter how good the acting actually is, all the fake accents always seem so phony and exaggerated to me, and I find that they hurt the movie's overall legitimacy as a result.

 

That's certainly the case with The Long, Hot Summer (or, as I'll be referring to it from now on, the second best novel-inspired Southern melodrama from 1958 that stars Paul Newman and features the word Hot in its title), but I think my primary issue is that the plot doesn't really interest me. These characters and their interpersonal conflicts do have some potential, but everything's too bogged down by wearisome direction and sluggish narrative progression for any of it to keep me invested.

 

Still, I guess the movie's fairly well-shot, particularly in regards to the location work, and the heat is certainly palpable, through both the visual textures (this thing is sweaty) and the obvious chemistry between Newman and Woodward. It's not a total bore, but the bland story, forced theatrics, and unconvincing conclusion keep it from fully catching fire for me.

 

Grade: B-

 

P.S. Orson Welles is somehow both the best and worst part of this movie. His performance is frankly embarrassing, and not at all believable, but the energy immediately ratchets up a notch whenever he's on screen.

 

#66. Charlie Chan at the Circus (1936)

 

 

Despite my being a mystery lover, I'd never seen a Charlie Chan movie before now. And, considering how many of them seem to exist, I thought it was time I rectified that oversight. 

 

I started with this entry because I generally like circus settings (and definitely not because it was the first one I could find [though my circus comment stands]), and it certainly lives up to the title. This movie's got contortionists, acrobats, cobras, two tiny dancers (both of whom are incredibly endearing), and an angry, murderous gorilla. It's a lot of fun, thanks especially to some lighthearted golden age comedy and a likeable performance from Keye Luke as Chan's "number one son".

 

Honestly, it's just a shame that the mystery isn't stronger. Seeing as this movie's only 72 minutes, and the bulk of that time is spent with the detectives, we don't get much of an opportunity to meet any of the suspects. It makes their motives feel underbaked and secondary, which results in a murder mystery that's somehow at its least interesting when it's trying to uncover the killer.

 

Grade: B+

 

#65. The Town That Dreaded Sundown (1976)

 

 

Okay, I know the slasher genre was still finding its way in the mid-70s (meaning most of the entries from that time are gonna scan as prototypes today), but, even by that metric, this one seems kinda shoddy and deficient to me.  

 

For one (and maybe I'm just a victim of my own expectations here), The Town That Dreaded Sundown barely feels like a horror film for much of the runtime. It's honestly more of a police procedural, which would be fine - who doesn't love a good cop thriller? - except there's no excitement to it. Between the dirt-cheap visual quality, the ultra-cheesy narration, and the misguided attempts at comedy, this movie is constantly undermining its own mood, killing any sense of tension or urgency in the process.

 

And it's too bad, because you can see the significance here. Those murder set pieces, few and far between as they frustratingly are, do feel influential, with the stalker POV shots, the slow build-ups, the motiveless killer in a mask, and the bloody victims. These scenes are genuinely effective, and they hint at a much better Friday the 13th-meets-Zodiac thriller lurking beneath the surface. But all the surrounding elements are so second-rate and uninspired that the movie never comes especially close to getting there.

 

Grade: C

 

#64. Iron Man (2008)

 

 

Prior Viewings: 3-4

 

I, like a lot of people, have a bit of a love/hate relationship with the MCU, a relationship that I'll explore more thoroughly at a later date. For now, I'll just say that I'm interested in seeing how well these movies hold up now that the Marvel empire has all but collapsed. The plan is to cover everything up to Endgame eventually, and it only makes sense to check them off in order (especially given the continuity), so let's start with the one that got the ball rolling. 

 

Watching Iron Man nowadays is a strange experience, not just due to how unwieldy the Avengers franchise became, but also given the current state of Hollywood. But that's not exactly fair of me, is it? Like, yes, this movie is arguably patient zero for much of what came later (safe storytelling, lifeless visuals, quippy dialogue, annoying fan service, post-credit stingers), but, taken on its own, I think it's a really solid origin story.

 

Something this movie gets right, and something many of its follow-ups got wrong, is scale. What really works for me is the simple story, the character-heavy drama, and the low-stakes conflict. It's refreshingly small and sweet, which causes Favreau's quick pacing and action bombast to feel like a welcome burst of energy, rather than a smothering, paint-by-numbers irritant.

 

Like most origin stories, though, the movie falls off a bit once Stark's backstory and suit are finished.

 

Grade: A-

 

#63. Blue Thunder (1983)

 

 

This is another one of those movies that I sought out primarily because of the actors involved. Anything that includes Roy Scheider (even if he only took the job to get out of Jaws 3-D), Malcolm McDowell, Candy Clark, Daniel Stern, and Warren Oates is something that I probably should've seen by now.

 

But while the cast is undeniably great, it's the action that makes Blue Thunder worthwhile. The concept of a helicopter being some unstoppable killing machine is actually pretty novel to me, and the movie really makes the most of this premise, with its state-of-the-art technology and badass weaponry. I shudder at the thought of flying in airplanes, much less choppers, but there were a handful of moments where I genuinely wished I could ride in that thing.

 

I'll concede that much of the conflict between Scheider and McDowell is pretty contrived, and the conspiracy subplot isn't developed or resolved nearly as much as I'd like, but the movie makes up for both with a half-hour climax, complete with fantastic aerial stunts and explosions (not to mention ridiculous amounts of collateral damage), and even a car chase where Clark is allowed to get in on the action. As go-for-broke third acts go, this one doesn't disappoint.

 

Grade: A-

 

#62. Watch on the Rhine (1943)

 

Propaganda sometimes has its place (especially when I agree with it, naturally). For instance, any anti-fascist movie made during WWII is one that I think deserves to exist. So while Watch on the Rhine has the usual trappings of preachy dialogue and heavy-handed messaging, I also found it refreshingly powerful in its directness.

 

Well, maybe not initially. For part of the runtime, I was more enamoured by the backstory, the family dynamics, and that enormous Washington home, and was typically turned off whenever the drab conflict would rear its head in the form of that Romanian aristocrat character. But then, once we reach the second half, everyone begins to lay their cards on the table, and the overall tone is suddenly so much more urgent and threatening that this friction became the most compelling aspect to me.

 

From here, the movie continues to be on the talky side, with characters spelling out their feelings in long, dignified speeches, but it's all handled with enough conviction and sincerity that I was able to buy into it. And Paul Lukas generates such sympathy with his performance that I can almost understand why Bogart lost Best Actor that year.

 

Grade: A-

 

#61. The Phantom of the Opera (2004)

 

Call me a basic Broadway bitch, but The Phantom of the Opera is one of the very few shows that has ever even remotely interested me. I guess I just like the lavish aesthetics of it: the opulent opera setting, the eerie and foreboding tone, the wintery atmosphere, the histrionic emotions, etc. So I've actually always been a little curious as to how I'd respond to this adaptation.

 

As expected, the results were kinda mixed. Those stylish elements are all present (perhaps overly so, though I suppose most people watch something like this for its over-the-top presentation), but the kitschiness of it all sometimes detracted from the gentler aspects, like the romance and the tragedy. And it causes the central story to feel even more leaden and airless than it already was.

 

Still, cluttered as they might be, the visuals are quite strong. And while the narrative might not've been especially interesting, Joel Schumacher's dedication to camp and melodrama certainly helped to keep things lively.

 

Grade: B

 

P.S. Yes, Gerard Butler's incredibly miscast as The Phantom, and Emmy Rossum blows him out of the water at every turn, but he was also nowhere near as grating as I was expecting. Small victories.