I was always mildly curious about this franchise, mainly because I like Kate Beckinsale and because I just generally have a fondness for trashy, over-earnest nu-metal sludge from the early 2000s. But I have to report that the viewing experience was about as tedious as I was worried it would be.
Many critics have described Underworld as "shallow" and "derivative", which is true enough, but I think my problem is that the story, no matter how seriously it takes itself, just isn't interesting. There must be five or six different subplots going on here, and yet the lack of interesting character dynamics or established stakes made it difficult for me to remain invested in any of them.
Yes, the aesthetic is kinda neat, with its leather outfits, Gothic locations, rainy atmospheres, and fashionable blue filtering (it all feels very Evanescence), and, yes, I enjoy watching Michael Sheen and Billy Nighy ham it up, but I need something else after a while. A compelling romance, a more creative action scene, an occasional change of pace. Anything.
As is, I found the whole experience to be elusive and slightly dull.
Grade: C+
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